i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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