margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
