just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
