im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
