he puts the penis in happiness.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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