96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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