do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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