There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
