The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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