2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
