People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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