why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
