some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
