...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
