In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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