Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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