I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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