Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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