My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
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We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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