im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
