I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize