is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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