??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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