then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
