y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
