How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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