Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
