My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
