in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
