I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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