yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
