ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
