She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
