I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
