If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
