Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
