Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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