I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My vagina is very pro this idea
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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