see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize