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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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