You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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