He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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