I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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