OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
