i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
