I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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