can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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