hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
