were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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