I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
