My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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