she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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