would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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