By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
