Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize
