doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
