i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
