i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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