i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
