Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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