im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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