Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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