I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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