I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
