I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The air taste purple.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
