I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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